Saturday 1 October 2011

PH and the Mystery of the Missing Equilibrium - The mystery deepens, a bit

Karen was training hard for her next weather forecast.  Although it was a sunny day in Kalkan, again, she had heard rumours that some of the PH crew were so worried about the chance of snow they were off their food a little.  Natalie's leg warmers were spotted  with her zumba workout gear (strangely still unused) and Mrs C had noticed Gayle threading her mittens on a string through her warm winter coat, although she laughed it off saying she was only doing it to pass the time between snorkelling sessions.  Karen had to save the day.  She had to win everyone over and exude confidence, no matter how many niggling little doubts she might have about the continuing sunny spell in southern Turkey.  
No expense had been spared in furnishing Karen with the necessary equipment.  
An outstandingly large fridge had been wheeled into their headquarters and a huge map of Turkey attached to it with magnetized gold tokens!  Karen had insisted, rightly of course, that only bottles containing the finest wine were accurate when pointing out areas of high pressure on the map, so she had been busily emptying them into large glasses (health and safety - no lifting heavy weights) and sharing these with her comrades. 
dangerous way to lift a bottle.  Don't try it at home.

One glass for Carolyn, one glass for Mrs C, one glass for Gayle, one glass for mrs C... you probably get the picture.
At last the time came for Karen's ultimate performance.  It was 6 O'clock, Kalkan time.  The sun was starting to descend over the bay and all the PH crew gathered round the fridge expectantly.  Lyn nervously chewed her snorkel mouthpiece whilst Louise removed her flip flops - they were slightly different colours, one being pink and the other not.  The men in black were guarding all the exits.  All was quiet.  Karen was about to begin.
"Stop!!" roared a voice.  The crowd erupted unable to stand the tension a moment longer.  Emma shrieked, Kate fainted and Rachel adopted the 'Swan in Flight' yoga pose that she used in stressful situations. Then in ran Jill and Sally. They were holding a single flip flop between them.  
"We've found a clue!" they cried in unison.  "It's the MP's flip flop.  Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah - now we may be able to find the missing equilibrium". - (In case you'd forgotten or have lost the will to try and remember, it was the missing equilibrium data, lost on a flash pen somewhere in the bay of Kalkan that had brought the PH crew here).
Well, you could almost hear the cheers from Brighton.  Certainly, the good folk of Kalkan smiled to each other knowing someone was happy in their pretty little town.  The bar owners stuck champagne on ice and the cocktail bars hastily created an inspired Belles of Brighton cocktail.  But was this all a little premature.  After all, it was just a flip flop.  The mood darkened a little as realisation grew that this wasn't yet the end of the affair.
But then Louise suddenly stood up and the crowd hushed.
"Oh Friends,  my dear, dear friends I think the time has come for me to let you in on a few secrets."  Omg thought half the people there, what is she going to tell them.  Please don't let it be about that party...
Louise held up her flip flops.  The one that wasn't pink matched the one that Jill and Sally still clutched.
"You really are the bravest, cleverest most wonderful people you know.  I have spent over 15 years with you so I understand this.  Yes.  15 years undercover - on her Majesty's Secret Service.  I always knew that one day you lot would be there to help me save the world - and so you are."  The PH crew looked surprised - but hey, they were used to surprises and this plot seemed nothing like as complicated as the Dr Who or Spooks ones.
"So hang on, you know my cousin then" said Kate.  Louise nodded wisely. Shaken and stirred in equal measure Kate was silent.
"These flip flops are coded".  Louise pointed to the markings on the bottom.  "Now we have the pair I can quickly calculate the exact position of the Missing Equilibrium."  Everyone stared ( a bit rude really) as Louise mumbled something about x = Y(g-4t)/absolute zero.  What a maths genius!"
She looked around with a natural air of authority.  "There is no time to lose.  Grab your snorkels and get down to the harbour.  If I'm right we have just 2 hours and 23 minutes to find this flash pen and still be back in time for dinner."
Like bats out of  hell  they ran- indeed John linked that up to the town's loudspeakers to aid the crew as they ran down through the town to the harbour.  A laughing, cheering crowd (well, laughing anyway) helped them on their way and very soon they had boarded the good ship Dilara and were on their way to X marks the spot.
Louise, who had quickly changed into her black lycra regulation SS diving gear, had taken command of the boat and given orders to the crew -  in Turkish of course - it turned out she spoke 17 languages fluently. 
Ahead lay the still blue darkening waters of the Mediterranean sea.  Somewhere down there was the treasure they sought.  

Would they find it in time to get back for dinner at Doy Doy? 
Find out in the next episode,




No comments:

Post a Comment